I'm fart and I'm smunny.

Anonymous asked: What's the best concert you've ever been to?

Sunny Day Real Estate and the Jealous Sound at Metro, Chicago, 9/24/09. I almost died of dude bros, but it was still magical, I felt like I had time traveled.

Anonymous asked: Have you ever met a famous person, and if so what were they like?

I’ve never met a real life famous person, like, where you could stop an objective person on the street and they would have heard of them. I’ve met a lot of musicians who are well-known in certain circles. I was once in a hotel room with a top ten Radio Disney artist while he exchanged Twitter messages with Taylor Swift! He was very polite and very young. Jon Walker from Panic at the Disco played some shows with a friend of mine not long ago and we hung out, he was super cool. I’ve met a lot of Pete Wentz-adjacent people. Mikey Way waved at me once!

Anonymous asked: do you ever fill prompts on kink memes?

I actually haven’t ever! Although I have a list from the Parks kink meme that I keep telling myself I’ll get to someday.

The other night I went looking for a Sherlock kink meme, and holy crap, I forgot what actual huge fandoms even looked like, I would have no earthly idea where to begin.

annakovsky asked: Marry, fuck, kill: Nick Offerman, Jason Sudeikis, Seth Meyers. Show your work.

Marry Nick Offerman, because by all appearances he is the greatest and most appreciative husband of all time, and I enjoy comprehensive cunnilingus.

Fuck Jason Sudeikis, because of my aforementioned beliefs.

KILL SETH MEYERS BECAUSE AMY ALREADY MARRIED SOMEONE ELSE SO WHAT DOES HE EVEN CARE.

Anonymous asked: Do you think Jason Sudeikis actually has a huge dick?

I believe it, in my soul.

amypop asked: inspired by your wonderfalls gif -- what item in your home/office do you wish would start talking to you and give you direction?

Oh man, it can be anything with a face, right, not just animals? I would choose my Band Of Brothers poster featuring Dick Winters. I’m sure my life would be sorted out tout de suite.

whatapunk asked: If you had Jason Sudeikis in one hand and a million dollars in another hand... which one would you give you a hobo?

Assuming Jason’s full net worth isn’t included in the deal, LET THE HOBO HAVE HIM, MAMA HAS BILLS TO PAY.

Anonymous asked: favorite sex position?

Yowza, getting right down to it! I’m super submissive sexually, so honestly it’s whichever position I’m told to get into.